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Matt Maggiacomo

Various Letters

Dear Life,

FUCK YOU. This was supposed to be the best weekend ever.

Tomorrow will still be the second best day of my life. Nothing can ruin the greatness that is a giant wizard rock fest.

But seriously, this isn't fair and no one here understands and I'm starting to feel like I'm going to have another breakdown. Two breakdowns in three days is not ok. It is only September and I am otherwise happy here.

-A


Dear Life,

Sorry. I realize it is not entirely your fault.

Love,
A


Really stupid weird boy,

FUCK YOU. YOU RUINED THE BEST WEEKEND EVER. There was obviously a reason I did not answer my phone. You shouldn't not have come to my apartment/my room where I could not run away to avoid talking about this. I do not like you like that but I don't want to be rude because you are my friend. Why can't you just leave me alone? I see you enough as it is in class and at Mu Alpha Pi meetings. When I come to your apartment it is to see your suitemates, not you. Never you. I will hate you forever if things become awkward so that I can't hang out with the only people other than my suitemates who I get along with. I already hate you, actually. Stop being clever and talking around things so that I can't politely turn you down. And seriously, WHO THE FUCK HASNT SEEN BATMAN YET? YOU FAIL AT LIFE. I was listening to wrock, The Whomping Willows to be specific when you came over, now that doesn't make me feel better and Whompy Iz a Gangsta ALWAYS works. I will probably come up with an excuse before Saturday because I don't want to go out with you. You are nice but all of this is reminding me of freshman year of high school and that is not ok. Do not turn homicidal and please just leave me alone.

Fuck you,
A

p.s. You didn't even notice that I dyed my hair bright red. Lame. Oh god.... fuck. You really are acting just like him. I FUCKING HATE YOU.


Dear only two people who read this thing,

I love you both a lot and I really miss you right now because no one here seems to understand why I am upset and they find it funny.  I want to come home. It isn't fair because I was ok with being here until this week. I need to figure out how to be polite about not being interested. The best excuse Lauren and I could come up with was that "I don't want to be in a relationship now because I really need to focus on schoolwork this year." This is the true part. Now for the lie. In order to make it more convincing, I'd also say that  "Last semester I didn't do well (which is mostly true) because I was so distraught over the break up (I promise that has little to nothing to do with it, I just got lazy... he doesn't know this though)."

Love,
A (who is too lazy to write out her whole name so many times)




Dear Self,

Fuck you for not being able to just say no, I am not interested. I'm not that angry though, because he is clever and always makes it so it would seem bitchy to say no. I am sorry about all this. We need to fix it asap because we really don't want to be in a relationship.

At least you have tomorrow to look forward to.

Love,
Me


Dear NYC Wizard Rock Fest,

Thank you for existing. Tomorrow will be fantastic, the second best day of my life all because of you. It will also be the only day this week that I am not freaking the fuck out over this whole stupid date thing. I cannot wait. You are about all I am looking forward to at the moment. I told my roommate to please just kill me after you but I don't think she will, which is obviously for the best, even if I temporarily disagree. I do not know what I would do at the moment if I did not have you to look forward to tomorrow. I suppose I wouldn't have an excuse and I would have been dragged to a movie tonight. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

LOVE,
A

Comments

ohhhhh annieeeeeee.

i so miss you. lots and lots and moar and moar every day.

i feel like my insides have been yanked out because i cannot really feel anything. i hate him but i love him and that makes me hate him more.

may i ask who weird kid is acting like?

i wish i could just give you a gigantic hug and make you feel better by being really douche-y and being generally stupid about life. i love you so very much and thanksgiving cannot come soon enough.

p.s. i used one of the wonderful feather boa pictures of you for my photography class. someone said you were beautiful and i was like "i know." =D the guy who said it was kind of old, but i think that makes it cooler as opposed to creepy because grown ups often see beauty as opposed to, like, "OMG HOW HAWT".

this comment is very long. i love you. bai.